i got an email from one of the ladies who works with my grad advisor/professor saying she'd be out on personal leave and wouldn't be joining us for class this week. i just thought she was exhausted from all the traveling she does. she's like wonderwoman to me. it's amazing to sit in on her lectures and hear her talk about her crazy research and influence she has in california and all of the nation. i've taken classes from her since undergrad, worked with her daughter at the usda research kitchen for about a year and now spent 2 years studying under her during my masters program. she has a great family and is one of the most sincere teachers i've ever had.
but then this morning reading the news, i found out she was on leave because her son had passed away on picnic day. my heart just died for the next several hours.. trying to keep in good spirits for the sake of my coworkers and the patients i deal with. but when i think about it, my hearts dies all over again.
to raise a son to become a bright young man with so much going for him, and then to lose him when you always thought he'd be the one to see his own parents pass away first. mehhhh how does someone cope with the reality of news such as this?? it's one of those things where i sing
you give and take away
my heart will choose to say
lord blessed be your name
but then when something like this happens, the bottom drops out from underneath my heart and i can't figure out how to sing the last line cuz the hearts gone and fallen off the radar.
i pray for her and her family.
it's not easy working late. i wake up and take care of bob. go to work and come home around 9pm. right now it only happens about 3 out of 7 days a week. pretty soon it might be a regular thing. but while the hours are not ideal, i thank god that i have such a stable job (that i love) ((and with great benefits)) and after i graduate, i'm not being dumped on the sidelines of a sad and dusty job market.
my heart will choose to say
lord blessed be your name
every day is a challenge, but every day also brings new hopes and promises of a life directed by a god who knows me and loves me.
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