Daily DeBOtions

..could explain why my ears operate as those of an 80-year old though.

i never get tired of hillsong worship songs.  it's usually on repeat in my car and it never gets old.  tonight after fellowship i switched out (reluctantly) the new aftermath cd for mighty to save.  rocked out with the first couple songs and then track 4 came on:

i confess my hope in the light of your salvation
where i lose myself i will find you're all i need
sing my soul of the saviour's love
sing my soul unto god alone
i will meet you here in the life i call surrender
let the world i know be the glory of your grace
you alone are god
and we declare the glory of your name
reign in all the earth

first, i believe god slipped a small miracle into this song.  i've been thinking about miracles lately.. mebbe a post on this later cuz i wanna know what other people think.  anyways, it's been a long time since i've put this cd in the cd player for the sole reason of not wanting to endure the sadness of a hideously scratched cd.  and i knew at 0:01 that this particular track usually skips itself to death midway through.  tonight... no skip.


second, i have a hard time believing that god is all i need.  i mean, i need family, i need friends, i need someone to talk to, i need etc.  but then sometimes he goes and cuts off all access to these things that i need.  my parents would be away, friends are busy, my sisters busy playing with an insanely cute baby, i have the day off and everyone else is at work..  sad days man.  i talk to god but i also let him know that praying is not quite the same as talking with a real human being.  funny cuz i really think if not for the knowledge of christ and his presence in my life, i would be seriously depressed.  but then, i still desire human connection/interaction.  i haven't really thought this through but maybe there's supposed to be some sort of balance?  oreo..  god's not one to be balanced.. eh  brain vomit.  i digress.


third, pg's bible study tonight was about fools.  he talked about a couple different kinds of fools.  one of them: a simple man believes anything, but a prudent man gives thought to his steps. prov 14:15  leave your simple ways and you will live, walk in the way of understanding. prov 9:6  i happen to be a very gullible person.  i'm prone to believe anything i hear or read.  which is not so great because obviously, not everything can be taken as truth.  i blame it on being so guai growing up..always a ting baba de hua kinda kid.  but pg says that being simple this way also means being teachable.. teachable with what?  i think discernment.  which goes along with wisdom that comes from god.  eeeh  both of which, i'd like to fill up on.  i think pg's main point was that while the world sees us christ-followers as foolish people, we know that he calls us to be wise and to follow and depend on him even when it seems illogical or unreasonable.


four, going back to the song.  where i lose myself.  when have i ever completely given up on myself and declared absolute helplessness over my life?  uhhh  i'm not a control freak, but i'm a girl nonetheless, and control is innately woven into my being.  and maybe that's exactly the reason why i freak out about everything and can pinpoint exactly which event cause the birth of a new pimple on my head.  sorry, that's gross =/  ..i will find you're all i need.


i think these simple declarations are the hardest to internalize.  as gullible and believing as i am, it doesn't become real to me if i'm just believing for the sake of being a guai kind of christian.  i guess my prayer is that god would give me the wisdom to let his truth reign in my life first, that i might then bring it forth to the rest of the earth.  dang.  that's serious stuff  :D

i also just wanna say.. i love acacia and thank god for bringing me here.
 hooray it's the weekend!